Sunday, February 28, 2016

Getting Organized

Wow. So these past few weeks have been kinda hectic. All of the things i had been setting up all started to come together and all the sudden i am now super busy. haha Not going to lie for the most part i really like being busy because im used to the fast paced life of serving a mission in a huge city and always moving and changing and yeah. So i like it. But then again last week it all kinda hit me at once. By the end of a crazy week of work, 18 credits (before anyone calls me crazy, theyre 6 classes and half of them are theatre classes so its not like calc 3 or some junk like that), and being ASM for a play, saturday night i was kinda just done with life and had taken just about any free moment i had during the week to sleep, did my homework after rehearsal (at about 11 usually ending at 1 or 2) then having to get up early for class the next morning. I was feeling pity for myself and about how tired i was and drained and how i literally had to plan time for myself to get something to eat, when i hit sunday (im no longer complaining that i have 2:30 church because its my ONLY day i can actually sleep in) and had a meeting for my calling at (heaven forbid) 1pm, so i had to agonizingly get up earlier than normal. I get to the meeting (right down the hall from my apt) and we start talking then something clicks in my head telling me to get my act together and that i can do more. Then during the block i get chastised by the spirit again to do better and more things. So i repented of my pity party and being an unproductive procrastinator and tried to do better this week which actually worked out awesome. I ended up doing my homework during my spare time during the day (such an accomplishment i know) and got other misc things done at more convenient times. Such as taking a bunch of midterms, going to the gym and whatnot. That all went pretty well until the weekend hit and i tried to add a social life into the mix and my productiveness almost all just blew up but its ok. 
A wonderful(ly unattractive) picture of me at rehearsal.
Work outfit for when i usher BYU arts events
Just casually hanging out in the de Jong theatre really late at night. 

It was actually pretty amazing to me to see the difference that changing the small things did. I felt a lot more accomplished and I feel a lot more confident in what im doing. AND i get to bet at about 12:30 at the latest. Definitely a plus. Also i realized that i can get a lot done and actually enjoy myself. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that the weather here in provo has been oddly really really nice lately, but literally every time i walk outside going from place to place or the next thing i need to get done life just seems so great. For example on my mission all the utah missionaries would always say they missed their mountains and i always laughed saying yeah yeah whatever. BUT HOLY COW THEYRE GORGEOUS. I just love going outside and looking up at the sky and the mountains while walking around the beautiful campus. Super stoked for spring/ summer to maybe hike around. But anyways it just makes me really happy and feel super blessed to be living in such a beautiful place, going to a great school and being able to be in control of a lot of my life.

My consistent view from campus
Sunday school outside! taking advantage of the beautiful day

Also a few weeks ago i had the awesome opportunity to take a break from the normal vigorous schedule of what was the mess of my life that week to go see the King Singers who came to perform here at BYU. WOW they are soooo amazing. I kinda died. It was awesome. It reminded me a lot of how much i miss a lot of things. For example hearing people perform acapella (or any good music for that matter) and singing. I forgot how certain things can take you right out of your life and transport you somewhere else and make you just so happy. Like singing, to be part of a beautiful sound or piece and find a special meaning of that piece that is unique to you and wow its like nothing else. But then i thought about why i just dont start being in a choir again or something and again, the time thing. If only there were enough hours in the day and i had enough energy to do ALL the things that make me happy.
The Kings Singers
Under the me being productive category and doing the things i love (well eating delicous things) i made a batch of leslie's cookies :D they were really good haha
Being productive and going to the temple :) What a happy place
ALSO. Side note im super excited cause ive basically stopped watching netflix completely. Now to try and control the disney movie watching after my mom brought me all my dvds AND I JUST GOT MY TANGLED DVD (she forgot to bring it originally). I really need to watch that one... but not sure when ill be able to find the time haha. Maybe i should work on my slight disney obsession. Im probably getting to old for that. Eh. Who knows. haha

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The Reset Button

Disclaimer. I wrote about half of this about a week into the semester and now its a month into the semester so if the first half is weird sorry, i didnt go back to reread it before adding on. haha

You know that feeling that you get when you press reset on a device, then you press it like 5 more times just to make sure it really reset and you can start from scratch? I feel like someone found that button up in heaven and did just that as I came home from my mission.

Being home was great. I was surrounded by friends and family for a great time during the holidays. I had a great Christmas with my family and 3 days later left for Provo. Although I love being home there is a huge part of me that is still in Argentina. I'd venture to say that it is the better part of me. Learning a different language and having to speak ONLY that language was a challenge but also gave me the amazing opportunity to create a "new me." I changed things in my personality and I really felt like that representative of Jesus Christ that missionaries are. I felt different. I miss being that person. A person whose sole job is to express the savior's love for everyone, everyday. When I was released I didn't feel that "lift" of the calling off my shoulders. I think that it is partially because once I set foot on american soil again and started speaking english, that person had already partially left me. That gives me this dilemma: how do I pull out all that I learned in an amazing year and a half life changing mission and apply that to my normal english self? Its quite an interesting one.

Change #2: Transferring to BYU has been... well.... yeah. No words. Haha I didnt particularly want to transfer to BYU provo, but as it says in first Nephi, I will go and do. So now I'm here. After a month here I can say that I really love it. Grand blessings come when we obey. I can truly testify of that. The Lord has blessed me in a thousand ways since i've gotten here and thanks to some of my favorite people in the world, i have not only survived my first month here but really enjoyed it (though Rexburg will always have a special place in my heart).

One of the greatest blessings i have received is the theatre department here. I was able to transfer over with no problems and jump right into the program, thanks to the help of some great professors. It has really been able to keep me busy and doing the things I love. In my stage management class for this semester we have spent quite a bit of time talking about our strengths and to do so took a "strengths finder test" (look it up its pretty cool). After feeling pretty self conscious about some of my results (even though they were accurate), I have been trying to find ways to make them true strengths because in my head I don't think theyre completely good attributes. It has been interesting to reflect and focus on trying to become a better person, like i did on the mission, but this time without a calling and protection. Its still a work in progress (and a difficult one at that) but once a missionary in the field explained this to me. She wondered why on the mission we feel so bad about ourselves when we should be the best form of ourselves as a missionary, when one day it dawned on her. As we become closer and closer to Christ, even our smallest faults start to seem enlarged because he wants us to continue to progress. One of the biggest things I learned on my mission was that we need to let him show us and mold us and we do this by acting on promptings and trusting in the lord, which is easier said than done. But i know in the end that no matter what it is worth it, no matter how hard. It is amazing what the lord can make out of us and do in our lives if we trust him.